“Sheeya, Mom. Haf fun at the gallery. ” Buffy slurred the words and closed the door. Her tongue was still swelling after twenty-four hours and she was still unable to eat solid food. Giles had insisted that she stay in for the night, claiming that anyone stupid enough to shove a pole through their tongue was too incompetent to slay. She wasn’t about to argue.
What made her incompetent though was a certain sexy blond vampire who made her body weak all over. She definitely needed a break from him. Their game of making bets and taking dares was quickly becoming too erotic for comfort. Buffy realized that she had probably made the first move in taking it from harmless fun to flirting because she danced half-naked on him. But it was totally HIS fault that now she wanted to dance completely naked on him. How dare he!
Sighing, Buffy thanked her lucky stars that she had a night away from Spike and flipped on the TV. She surfed the channels until she found ‘Beauty and the Beast’ just about to start on the Disney Channel. Satisfied, she left it there and went into the kitchen to get some pudding. Not being able to eat solids was killing her and her rumbling stomach was beginning to hurt. She pulled two chocolates and two vanillas out and made her way back to the living room.
As she rounded the corner she dropped her loot in the floor and put her hands on her hips. Spike was sprawled on her sofa, staring at the TV. He saw her and smiled. “Hi! Looks like I got here just in time, huh? Joyce told me to come on in.”
“Go ‘way.” Furious that he’d just make himself at home, she bent to pick up her dinner. As she squatted, she glanced at her clothes and cringed. She was wearing her rattiest cotton shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt that had been her dads. Oh well, it served him right for just dropping by unannounced.
“That’s no way to be! How did your mum take the tongue ring?”
“She wasn’t thwilled.” Buffy replied, trying not to sound like she had a speech impediment. “But she said that if it’th the only thing I ever do to rebel that’th fine. Now, goodnight, Spike.”
“But I brought dinner!” Spike sat up and patted the sofa beside him while he reached for a bag. “Chinese! I know you like that.”
“You ashhole!” She screamed, waving her pudding at him. “Ou know for a fact that I can’t eat.”
He looked her up and down. “You shouldn’t be dieting, pet. You’re a slayer. You’re already too thin and you need all the strength you can get.”
Buffy closed her eyes and silently counted backwards from ten. “I can’t eat becauth of thith tongue wing.”
“What?” Spike shook his head and dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “That should already be healed.”
“Let me see?” He stood up and cupped her chin, trying to pry her mouth open.
“Quit!” She tried to push him away from her but he held on, trying to pinch her nose so she couldn’t breathe and would be forced to open her mouth. “Stop that!”
“Let me look at it.” Spike smiled as she clamped her mouth shut and shook her head from side to side. “You’re just faking it.”
Before Buffy could reply, her stomach rumbled loudly and Spike’s forehead creased. She smirked and said, “Doth that sound like I’m fakin’?”
“You’re hungry?” He felt so bad for her he couldn’t stand it. If he had known the piercing would make her unable to eat he wouldn’t have even suggested it. “You can take it out, Slayer.”
“No!” Buffy shook her head and moved past him.
“Why?” Spike watched her flop on the sofa and open one of her pudding containers; then he moved to sit beside her.
“Becauth I losth the bet. You haf a tathoo and I have thith thing. We’re even.” Buffy turned up the volume on the television as the movie started. She gingerly licked the foil lid she had pulled off, unaware that he was watching her every move.
Spike stared at her tongue as she lapped at the chocolate. He didn’t think he had ever seen anyone as beautiful or anything as erotic as the little silver ball on her tongue in his life. She was free of make-up, free of fancy clothes and absolutely killing him. “You’re…you’re so…”
“Huh?” She glanced at him absently, then turned back to the television.
Damn her. He had almost told her that she was beautiful and everything he desired. Spike had almost blurted out that he wanted to do things to her that she could never tell her mother. “Damn you!”
“Damn me?” Buffy rolled her eyes. “Listen, roots. I’m tryin’ to wath this movie. I don’t get to wath movies that often and I’ve never seen it.”
He glanced at the television and recognized the movie. “You’ve never seen ‘Beauty and the Beast’?”
Grinning, she swallowed her spoonful of pudding and said, “I live thith movie…me beauty…you beast. Hehehe.”
“Well, they shag at the end.” He smiled back at her. “So…we may as well shag too. Right now if you want too.”
“Spike!” Buffy hit him with a throw pillow and shook her head. “Only you would twy to turn a Disney movie into porno.”
“Well, did you know that almost all Disney movies have sexual undertones?” Spike caught the pillow and leaned back on it, tossing his legs into her lap.
“No, they don’t.” She tried unsuccessfully to shove his legs off of her and finally let herself enjoy how natural it felt. She tuned him out as he was telling her that the ‘Lion King’ said sex somewhere in the sky. It occurred to her that she’d like to have sex anywhere, anytime, anyplace with this man.
“And there you have it. Walt Disney was a pervert.”
“You’re a perverth.” She lisped and leaned over his legs, tossing her empty container on the coffee table.
“No, I’m not.” Spike moved his legs and patted the edge of the couch. “Lie down with me.”
“Hello contradiction.” She shook her head. “You’re not a perverth but you want me to lie down with you?”
He sat up and brushed her hair off her shoulder, putting his face against it. “Trust me. By the time this movie ends you will be glad to have a shoulder to cry on.”
“I don’t cry at cartoonth.” She shook her head, silently rattling off all the reasons she should run lock herself in her room.
No she couldn’t think things like this. It was wrong. Spike was her FRIEND. And he wasn’t even that half the time. She didn’t even like him most of the time. Damn it all. He was making her lie to herself more and more.
“I bet you will cry.” Spike said.
“I bet I won’t.”
“You’re on.” Shrugging, Spike leaned back against the armrest, adjusting his pillow. “What are the odds?”
“You made the bet. You decide.”
“Well, if you cry…I get to kiss it better.” He puckered up his mouth dramatically and made a loud kissing noise. “I’ll console you, pet.”
“And if I don’t?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Then take out your tongue ring.”
“You’re on.” Buffy’s smile was huge as she stuck out her hand so they could shake on it. She’d be taking out her tongue ring later and she would eat all of the Chinese food that Spike had brought. This one was in the bag.
Spike grabbed her hand and shook it fiercely but didn’t let go. Instead he pulled her on top of him. Buffy gasped and tried to pull away. The vampire shook his head. “Slayer, don’t be a bitch for two hours. That’s all I’m asking. Just lie here with me and watch this damn movie and don’t be a bitch.”
“Hush!” He chuckled at her and rolled, planting her firmly beside him and holding her around the waist.
After several minutes, Buffy relaxed and resigned herself to the fact that he was going to lie behind her, spoon style, for at least an hour and a half. Soon, she was engrossed in the movie and subconsciously stroked the back of his hand, oblivious to how much he enjoyed that.
Spike grinned at Buffy’s gasps and laughter as the movie played out. She voiced her anger over the Beast locking up Belle’s father, shouted at the television when Belle took his place, giggled at Chip and swooned out loud as Belle and the Beast slowly began to grow closer. He had propped himself on his elbow so he could watch her face as the movie began to conclude. By then, Buffy was clinging to his hand, not stroking it. She watched with wide eyes as Gaston and the Beast fought on top of the castle and the Beast was stabbed.
His gaze moved to the television as the final rose petal dropped and the Beast “died”.
“No.” Buffy gasped. “Spike..”
“Shh…” He studied her profile again and smiled when her eyes began to mist.
By the time the Beast transformed into the handsome Prince, Buffy was sobbing. As soon as the credit’s rolled she sat up angrily and grabbed a tissue. “I’m not crying!”
“A spontaneous allergy attack, right?” He laughed a little and moved behind her, slowly pushing her hair aside. “Did you like it?”
“I hated it.”
“It had a happy ending.” He turned her to face him, intent on getting the kiss he was owed.
“That’s just it, Spike.” She shook her head and stared deeply into his eyes. “Happy endings don’t happen.”
“Whoever fated me to be a Slayer, that’s who.” Buffy wiped off the remaining tears and tossed her tissue at him.
Spike caught it and smiled. “Tears. A whole rag full of tears. I have to kiss it better.”
“Spike.” Buffy warned, pushing him away as he drew closer, tracing his thumb around her lips. She could feel her resolve starting to weaken and leaned toward him. “Spike, I want...”
“You want what, baby?” He swallowed as his lips came within inches of hers.
Joyce flipped on the light and looked at the two figures on the couch. “I want to know what’s going on.”
“MOM!” Buffy jumped up and pulled Spike up beside her. “We were…”
Spike caught the look Joyce threw him and said, “We were watching a Walt Disney movie.”
Joyce stepped into the living room and glanced at the television. “A Disney movie?”
“Yeah.” Buffy nodded. “Beauty and the Beast.”
“Oh, of course. How fitting.” Joyce crossed her arms and stared from one to the other. "How very innocent."
"Mom, Walt was a pervert too! It's his fault that we..."
"Did nothing!" Spike quickly added, wondering if he'd make it out the door before he got staked.
"It's late." Joyce stared at her watch.
“And I was just leaving.” Spike nodded at Joyce and added, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Buffy. For slaying.”
“Yes. Slaying. Tomorrow. No movies.”
“Goodnight, ladies.” Spike made it out the door unscathed and practically sprinted to his car.
Buffy made a mad dash for the stairs but Joyce blocked her. “I want to talk to you.”
“Buffy? I saw you.”
“Nothing happened. I didn’t kiss Spike because you interrupted.”
“I wasn’t talking about.... Wait, you wanted to kiss Spike?! Never mind..that’s not important right now.” Joyce pulled a newspaper out from behind her back and opened it, shoving it in her daughter’s face. "Several men at my gallery tonight asked about you!"
Buffy gasped when she saw a picture of herself collecting her trophy onstage at the strip club. “Oh God!”
“A tongue ring, stripping and making out to DISNEY movies. That’s it Buffy!” Joyce shoved the paper under her arm. “You’ve left me no choice.”
“What?” Buffy looked terrified.
“I’m canceling our cable! If you behave this way with just Disney, I can’t imagine how you’ll handle HBO.” With that, Joyce turned and walked up the stairs.
The Slayer shook her head and started to follow when there was a light knock on the front door. Sighing, she tugged it open and Spike grinned at her. “I forgot to give you this.”
“What?” Buffy asked.
He leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her lips, then pulled away, willing himself to say goodnight. “Bye, luv.”
Buffy grabbed him and brought his mouth back to hers, kissing him hungrily. The feel of his cool tongue massaging her aching one was absolutely wonderful. He flicked over her tongue stud and then probed further, taking her breath. She had to break the kiss to regain her breathing. “Spike, you shouldn’t…”
“I shouldn’t!?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “I shouldn’t!? You just kissed ME.”
“You started it!” She snapped.
“I did not. Who made the first bet? Who said they could stake a vampire in eight seconds?” Spike pointed at her and wagged his finger. “You did!”
Buffy tried to close the door but he caught it and held it open, glaring at her. She stomped her foot and shook her head angrily. “You are driving me crazy, Spike!”
He put his lips right next to her ear and whispered. “Give me time, baby. I’ll drive you wild.”
“I bet you won’t.”
“I bet I will.”
“What are the odds?”
Willow was on a mission. Her mother had shown her the newspaper and she was hell bent on finding out what other kind of secret life Buffy had going on. She came around the tree in the Summer's front yard and paused when she saw Buffy and Spike bickering. That was nothing new. She took another couple of steps forward and gasped when Spike yanked the Slayer into his arms and began kissing her passionately.
*Oh damn.* Willow shook her head, convinced Buffy would stake him.
Instead, Buffy giggled and went back into her house and Spike practically skipped down the sidewalk, humming under his breath.
As he pulled away, Willow scratched her head and glanced back up at Buffy's house. "What the hell is going on?"