“You weren’t even a little embarrassed?” Spike asked, as he and Buffy walked through the cemetery for their final sweep before they called it a night. He was referring to their previous evening’s adventures. Buffy had lost a bet and had to dance, seductively, on stage at the Fish Tank. To her credit, she made the most of it, displayed her chest, and won a handsome amount of cash. And drove him completely mad with how much he wanted her. Then they had been stopped by Giles and Wesley on the way out who had witnessed the entire thing.
“Nope.” She was actually quite mortified about it. She had bared her breasts and lap danced on top of Spike in front of half of Sunnydale’s male population and BOTH her watchers and didn’t even realize THEY were there. Embarrassed didn’t exactly fit how she felt. “I wasn’t embarrassed.”
“You’re lying to me.” Spike grinned and shook his head. “I thought we agreed when we started working together that we wouldn’t lie to one another.”
Buffy stopped walking and put her hands on her hips. “I’m not lying.”
“Prove it?” Her eyebrows raised as she repeated his words. “What now, filth brain?”
“Dance for me again.” He stepped back and swept his arms open wide, indicating that the cemetery was her dance floor and he was an eager audience. “I dare you. I bet you don't have the nerve.”
“What?” Buffy shook her head. “Are you insane? Wait, I know this answer. I am not dancing in a cemetery!”
“Then just show me your tits again. I’m willing to compromise.” He wiggled his eyebrows and grabbed his own chest, mocking the way she had danced, gyrating his hips sensuously. “Oh, I’m Livin’ La Vida Loca.”
“You’re gonna be living in an Urn if you keep on.” She narrowed her eyes at him and smacked him on the shoulder. Damn him and his sexy ass wiggle.
He clutched his arm and stared deeply in her eyes with over-exaggerated seriousness. “I’m so touched. You care enough about me to buy me an urn?”
“No. But I'd have to keep you someplace all together until I could flush you down the toilet. ” That was another lie. She did care about him. A lot. And she desired him. A lot. And when she had danced on him and felt his erection, she wanted to go home with him and see just what he could do with it.
“Again, with the lying.” He tsked at her and hung his head. “You were such a good girl…and now you’re stripping in bars, hanging around all hours of the night and LYING. I had such high hopes.”
“What high hopes?” She had began tapping her stake against her palm just to see what he would do.
“That you were indeed corrupt enough after last night to show me your tits again.” He grabbed her stake and shoved it into his pocket.
“Okay, big guy! You want tit action?” Buffy moved to unbutton her shirt and Spike’s eyes widened. She undid the top three buttons and stopped, cocking her head to one side. “What’s in it for me?”
“Knowledge that you made me very happy?” He was still staring at her hands on her buttons and willing them to keep going.
“No. If I show you my tits again then YOU have to do something in return.”
“Wanna see my dick?” Spike started to yank his pants down but she turned away.
“NO I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR DICK!” God, she really was a liar. She was guilty of drawing stick figure vampires with erections for the past few months because of him. Seeing the real thing wouldn’t be bad at all. It would also make her want him even more.
“Then what?” He zipped his pants back up and she turned to face him.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy answered. “Undoubtedly, this experience is going to scar me for life. Therefore, if you gaze at my breasts and I allow this, you need to be scarred too. For life.”
“No tit is worth being maimed.” He started past her. “You really are off. Bats in the belfry and all that. Masochist!”
“I’m talking about a tattoo, dumbass.”
“And I get to pick where you put it and what it is.” Buffy grinned and pulled her shirt to one side, exposing part of her breast. “Take it or leave it.”
“Only if I can touch it.”
“You can touch your tattoo anytime you want too.” She replied casually. “Get infected, I don’t care.”
“I’m talking about you, pet.”
“HELL NO!!” This time Buffy shoved past him and stomped toward the exit. They were playing with fire now and she knew it.
He chased after her. “So, it’s just fine that you get to bounce around all over me while my ears are bleedin’ from listening to that poofy-haired Ricki Martin but I have to keep my hands off.”
“Exactly.” She kept walking. “Hands off. Far off.”
“I knew you were embarrassed.” Spike stayed in step beside her as they exited through the big iron gates and started up the sidewalk, toward her house. “You know I’m right.”
“I was not embarrassed.”
“So, you’re afraid you’ll like it and shag me like mad if I do it?” Several cars whizzed past them but neither noticed.
“No!” Her face was a deep crimson and she knew she was had.
“I wonder what Willow and Xander and wolfie would say if I told them that you did what you did.” He grinned at the shade of her cheeks. “I have witnesses. And I’ll steal your titty trophy. What a conversation piece.”
“You wouldn’t dare. Don’t you EVER say one word about what happened.”
Spike was enjoying yanking her chain. He’d never say a single word to anyone about how she danced for him and …well…Giles and Wesley and several other men too. But it may as well have been just him because as he watched her, they were the only two people in that room. All he saw was her, all her felt was her and all he wanted was her. “Bare it and I won’t share it.”
Infuriated, Buffy turned and yanked her shirt open. Right on the side of the road, she ripped her bra from her body and slammed both of his hands against her bare breasts, holding them there. He was stunned. And enthralled. Slowly, he tested their weight and brushed his thumbs over her hard nipples.
At a redlight across the street, Oz squinted his eyes and digested the image of Buffy holding Spike's hands to her naked breasts. The light changed and he drove on by, "Hmm."
"What?" Asked Willow, looking up from his CD case.
"I just realized where the term, 'Just when you think you've seen it all' comes from."
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Spike shook his head like a sullen child as Buffy explained what she wanted to the bewildered man behind the counter of the tattoo parlor. “HELL NO.”
“Didn’t I say those exact words? I said ‘Hell No’ but did it anyway.” She took a piece of paper from her purse and drew a sketch. “Besides, we made a deal. I’d hate to think you LIED. Especially after the big speech you made to me about lying.”
“I refuse. Pick another one, any other one.” He grabbed a book and flipped it open. “Look, Slayer. Here’s one of a clown. Ha ha…laughs on me. Happy clown.”
“Don’t like clowns.”
“And you liked the tattoo you picked? Should I be worried?” Spike continued to flip frantically, not liking the implications of what she wanted at all.
“Be very worried. We’re next.” Buffy pulled Spike along behind her and smiled at the man who waited. She handed him the paper. “He’ll be getting this tattoo. Only in color.”
“No he won’t.” Spike shook his head adamantly and turned to leave.
“Spike!” She stopped him and whispered. “A cranky slayer is never fun to be around. If you don’t do this I will make your life a living hell.”
“Do you like me when I have PMS?”
“Hell no. I don’t like you anytime but it’s worse then.” Spike saw the tattoo artist smirking at them. He probably thought that they were a couple.
“Well, half the time I fake it so just imagine if I actually have a reason to be crabby.” Her look told him she was serious.
“Fine! But you just wait. I WILL get you back.”
“I look forward to it.”
At three a.m. that morning, Spike pulled the gauze off so he could get a good look at the tattoo on his forearm. Buffy had insisted it be someplace where he could see it.
In vivid detail, on the inside of his arm, just a few inches above his wrist were two perfectly shaped breasts.
And between them, in the cleavage, was a wooden stake.
The message was loud and clear. If he got near her tits again, she’d stake him.
He did like a good chase here and there and if he hadn’t already been intent on touching all of her…he damn sure was now. Her brick walls were meant to be bulldozed, her smart mouth was meant to be kissed and breasts like the Slayer’s were meant to be touched.
Spike lay awake the rest of the night thinking about what he could challenge her to next. He dozed off when he had the perfect plan. The stakes were about to get very high indeed.